RANTS AND RAMBLES

• • I want to make clear that my job when I review books is to discuss both strengths and weaknesses of the books in question. It seems that weaknesses and inconsistencies are the easiest to discuss and pick apart and so tend to dominate my discussion. Nevertheless, any particular rant (and, yes, they can be long-winded) does not necessarily have special bearing on my overall opinion. Please refer to my overall star rating for my unified opinion of the book as a whole.
  • It is worth noting that I saw the movie based on this book long before I read the book. Because of this, fair or not, I will be comparing the book to the movie in just about every aspect. That is to say, had I not seen the movie, my opinions of the book may be different. Alas, that is not the case, and so begin my rants and rambles.
  • The characters aren’t very good. Most of them are flat, many are unlikable, and few redeeming qualities exist across the cast.
  • Very Minor Spoilers: The world of Stardust is the most inventive aspect of the story. It’s not a massive leap forward for the fantasy genre, nor, in all honesty, is it particularly inventive on the whole. But it is one of the better aspects of the book and deserves credit for that. Compared to the movie, it is a bit flat and unrealistic, a fantasy world that exists side-by-side with the real world with no major impact on the way our world developed or interacted is ludicrous. The movie makes more sense as the fantasy world is a closely guarded secret. In the book, people can freely commute between the two worlds making it feel boring and “normal” while also ignoring any interesting interactions between the two worlds. Perhaps this is what makes it feel fake. The fantasy world itself is okay with magical creatures like unicorns, fantasy professions like lightning fishermen, fantasy items like seven-league boots and Babylon candles, and fantasy locations like a forest which traps anyone who wanders in. But these are simply surface details, icing on the cake, as it were, and any substance of the world itself is non-existent. No mention of politics other than that Stormhold (I’m not sure if it’s the whole magical land or just a portion of it) is ruled by a monarchy with pretty barbaric succession traditions. Pretty much nothing is said of the culture other than the festival which occurs every seven years between our world and theirs. Besides lightning fishermen, no mention of unique professions or really any other aspects of civilization are mentioned. This magical world feels like a series of sets built on sound stages which are kind of convincing, but the more you look at them, the more you realize they had no depth and some of the details are off and don’t make sense.
  • Major Spoilers: The structure of the book’s main storyline and general flow of action is terrible. It dispensed with the three-act story structure typical in novels and replaced it with…nothing. Three main storylines trace through the book. The first involves Tristan looking for a fallen star to present as a gift to his lady love. The second involves a witch looking for the fallen star to harvest her heart for eternal youth. The third follows the remaining male heirs of Stormhold as they search for the royal jewel of Stormhold as whoever recovers it will be the new king. In the movie, these three storylines begin running parallel to each other but slowly become entwined over the first and second acts of the movie. The action ramps up in the third act with a frantic race to save the star and a climactic finale which concludes all three storylines in a single scene. It is a great example of how to handle multiple storylines and a story in general. The book, on the other hand, replaces the three-act structure with even action across the length of the book, action which is only marginally engaging at the best of times. The three storylines begin running parallel to each other and collide infrequently. The conclusions of these storylines are also handled as completely separate events which dulls the impact of each and stretches the ending of the story out for seventy pages. These were probably the hardest pages to get through since you could tell the story was wrapping up but there was still a lot of real estate to get through. The endings in and of themselves were also boring and anticlimactic. The final Stormhold heir is killed unceremoniously, effectively ending that storyline. Later, Tristan’s mother explains to him that he is the final heir to Stormhold in a contrived illogical conversation which insults the reader’s intelligence by spoon-feeding them this plot “twist.” Tristan realizes he loves the star and breaks it to his original lady love who is conveniently over him, concluding that storyline. Finally, the witch uses up all her magic looking for the star and gets old (offscreen). She has a brief conversation with the star, ending the final storyline. Then, after a seven-page epilogue which effectively adds nothing of significance to the story, the book is mercifully over.
  • Whoever adapted this book to a screenplay was worth every penny they were paid. They took the generic, boring story with bad pacing, flat, boring, and unlikable characters, and a very anticlimactic ending and molded it into a fun, memorable, quotable adventure with none of the weaknesses of the source material and showing the true potential the story had. Watch the movie and don’t bother with the book. Your life will be better for it.